Still I Rise

Lately I have been feeling some kind of way. You know when things are not going as well as you had planned months and years and days ago. There are days when even just stepping outside is a reminder that you should have stayed inside. You step in muddy puddles, you smile at people who don't smile back, you say hi to people who ignore you. These days probably hurt so much because of the memory of days when others interpreted your frown as a smile and an invitation to interact

It is days like this that i force myself to remember that the sun is still shining, or if its even raining to remember the glorious feeling of playing in the rain as a child when you allowed yourself to do so. Or that smell when the rain just kisses the green of the earth. It's a reminder that it doesn't cost a thing to smile and laughter is free. And in time my days, my months, my years start to change.

You see, its all about perspective. It's a choice to see things in a positive light. Yes it's a choice to be a pollyanna. It doesn't mean I bury my head in the sand and pretend shit doesn't happen. No. It means I choose to smile in spite of shit. I am still alive. I am reasonably healthy and I am black and a beautiful woman at that.

I do have my detractors. They say I am rude. I admit that I have strong opinions I am not afraid to share. I also know that if those statements had been made by a man, they would have been accepted as truth. I am not afraid to say I am assertive and argumentative and amazing.

I am a mass of contradictions and I still love myself. Go and jump if you don't like me. I am enough.